A lovely fellow blogista of ours, Vahni of Grit & Glamour, wrote an ever-inspiring post today entitled Mr. Stylist. When I read it I couldn’t help but feel a tug of guilt at my heartstrings, and the feeling that I know I’ve been having the past couple weeks came rushing in like a hurricane. If you haven’t read her post, I encourage you to do so! It really isn’t negative, by any means, but when each of us reads something, we are affected in a different way than the next person. Today, I just felt like what Vahni wrote in her opening paragraph was exactly what I needed to hear. Take a read:
“I think most men would tend to agree that life with a fashionista really ain’t easy. Especially a blogging fashionista. They hog all your closet space, they have waaaaay too many shoes and opinions, and when they’re not taking photos, blogging or obsessively checking their iPhones, they have their noses deep in a fashion magazine.”
This is so true. After reading each sentence, I couldn’t help but think “oh my goodness, is this me?” This is where my guilt set in. I have so often the past weeks and months, had my eyes glued to my computer screen while my boyfriend was sitting alongside me waiting for some sort of attention. (Note: please do not take this as I ignore him. I most definitely do NOT do this.) Of course, there are times when he is completely engrossed in the Braves or Falcons game on TV, but there there are others when he is just sitting there, waiting for me to be done. I always feel bad, but I will admit that I often justify me being on my computer for what seems like eternity with the thought of “Oh, but I HAVE to do this for my blog”, or “I just have to reply to these four more emails”. But really, do I HAVE to? Is it really that important that it can’t wait another hour or two and that I can’t sacrifice my time for someone who loves me unconditionally?
He often jokes around that I never put my computer down. I have to admit, I’m guilty. There’s some nights where I really don’t, and three hours have passed and I’m still captivated by my blogging world. Like I said, I feel bad, but I do it anyways. But, my friends, if I’m feeling bad, how bad is he feeling? Ouch.
See, the worst part is that he says it’s ok. Sometimes, I secretly wish he would get mad at me and say that I absolutely have to put my computer down for just one second. But he doesn’t. He somehow understands my passion (or can I say obsession, in a positive sense) with maintaining and nurturing my blog.
Blogging is by no means an easy task. Any of you bloggers who put hours and hours into your blog, promoting it, posting, commenting, etc., know exactly what I am referring to. It’s hard work. It takes time. It requires patience, creativity, a passion for writing, and the list goes on.
But isn’t this just what a relationship requires as well? Relationships require time, quality time. And no, I don’t mean just a ten minute time slot in between commenting on blogs, people. (guilty again.) They require patience and hard work to maintain their worth. Whether it’s a friendship or a romantic relationship, the people in our lives need us to be attentive to them, to compliment them, to love them, to notice them. That being said, in no way do I think my relationship is suffering because of my blogging, because it isn’t. But rather, I’m writing these things as a reminder to myself, and to you, that the words, pictures, and people on our computers should never take precedence over those in our lives, the ones who care for us and are consistently present on a daily basis.
Maybe Vahni’s post is exactly what I needed to read, to give me that push over the edge to listen to my heart. This doesn’t necessarily mean I’m going to “blog less” or ” not use my computer after 6 o’clock”.. but rather, I want to use this as a reminder for myself (and I hope you will too!).
I love blogging. I love what it has become for me: an atmosphere that I have combined my passions into one thing. I would love for blogging to be my full time job someday, if that’s where this journey will take me. I love that my boyfriend understands my passions and love for blogging. And that he too, is supportive of my ventures.
But, I also love my boyfriend. And I want him to know, that from now on, if he wants me to put my computer down and take an hour out of our night to interact with him or even watch his Falcons game, that I will. I don’t ever want him to think that life with “a blogging fashionista” as Vahni said isn’t easy. That isn’t fair to him, and that isn’t fair to us. If in the future blogging does become my job, then there will be time specifically set aside to “do my blogging things”. Because, just like any other job or hobby, we all need time to unplug ourselves and remember what is most important.
It is not often that I open up about these kinds of things here at the Files, but after reading Vahni’s words I felt that it was necessary. I almost feel like it’s sort of me admitting that I know I do this, even though I really already know. Sometimes publicly saying things helps us to realize what we already know.